Wow, I'm rather neglectful of this... whoopsie. :3

So... news.

oob #1: Bryant. Well, we split up... it was very nice... until I found out that he totally lied to me and screwed me over... and I don't think I want the world to know, so more on that later... but I still hurt and I still feel really stupid and it sucks. We split up at band camp... so yeah.

oob #2: Homecoming. Not sure if I'ma go... at least, not 100%. If I'm asked, then of course I'll go. I have a dress that I'd wear, but still. I'd like to have a date... and I'd like to be asked, but whatever. What happens happens. :)

oob #3: School. It starts in about... 5 days, and I'm not sure if I'm excited or not. Part of me is nervous for the first day and all that, but I'm also looking forward to the fresh start and not being the youngest in the fricking school. :3 I'm looking forward to Block, even though I don't know much about it. At least I'll be with friends. :) And band, too, I'm excited for that.

oob #4: Eagle Band. OMG. I can't believe that it's almost our first competition! Last week was Hell Week, and from Monday-Wednesday we had practice from 9 in the morning to 5 in the evening. It wasn't... horrific, but it was very tiring. And then we went to the State Fair, which wasn't actually bad. It was quite fun. :) We got to mess around a bit before playing, and it was fun.

oob #5: Cell phone!! I got one! I'm so excited! My parents told me that I'd changed a lot and grown up and worked really hard and I deserved it. That meant a lot to me, and I'm so glad I finally got one... with unlimited text... 952.649.9744

oob #6: Music! I'm newly addicted to Owl City... their new CD, Ocean Eyes, is the best. It's inspired me to write so many new pieces, it's insane. I love it. :) And Jack's Mannequin's The Glass Passenger is brilliant as well. :3

So... yeah, that's all I can think of for now... a lot has been going on, and hopefully I can get back into the habit of writing this, it's quite good therapy. XD

Love,
Lauren. ♥

P.S. Tough times don't last... tough people do.

P.P.S. This has been a good summer. I've learned so much, and a lot has changed. :)

P.P.P.S. I'm also addicted to Phantom Of The Opera. Watch it, read it, love it!! It's amazing!!

So I'm home from camp, and... wow, it was the best year I've had there. :) I'm so glad I got to go. My cabin was fabulous, I was Captain Hook in the play Peter Pan, I was kind of on top of the world.

Now that I'm back, I get to see all of my friends again, and that makes me really excited- especially for marching band! We've gotten the beginning of the show, and it sounds amazing. I can't wait to get started, even though I effing hate running. Argh.

I'm currently reading The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck, and... it's boring. Like, the plot's all right, I guess, but it's weirdly written. I'm not really a fan. But I have to read it for block next year... and yeah.

OH! I went to see Harry Potter two nights ago- my first premeire!! It was so cool! The special effects were incredible, and I loved it.

Didn't make it into Wind Ensemble from the callback, but I guess that's okay. At least I'll have friends in band with me. And I'll have Eagle Band, so I think I'll be able to manage it.

I have to go, but I'll probably write later, if anyone reads this!

Love,
Lauren. ♥

Escapar

So yesterday sucked, too. I guess it was just kind of a suckish week. *sigh*

Hopefully this week'll be better.

Today, I'm hoping to get together with Laura and have her sleep over. We haven't had a sleepover for so long, it's insane. She wants to play with my hair and makeup and stuff for Selgae's, and if all goes well, she'll get all day that day to make me beautiful. :3

I got to play my guitar a little bit this morning. I was suprised that I didn't totally suck again; I don't get nearly as much time as I want to to play, but I still remember how to play most of the things I've learned/taught myself. I'm gonna play more this year- I really want to get better at it while it's easier for me to learn and remember. But of course, band comes first.

Speaking of band, I'm anxious for Eagle Band tryouts, even though I think like everybody gets in. I mean, I don't want to be known as the only flute that sucks or whatever... I know that I'm pretty good, but I also know that I could totally screw it up. Playing in front of people (alone, or for chair placements or whatever) makes my stomach churn. Kind of like when Danielle had to leave and she left me to play her solo in Awakening Hills and I think that I kind of sucked. Laura said I did an amazing job, but I'm not so sure.

I'll put a new poem that I wrote up, too. It's called Touch Me, and it was inspired by Untouched by The Veronicas and Addicted by Saving Abel. Enjoy!

Love,
Lauren. ♥

Other Life?

So yesterday kind of sucked. Okay, it really sucked.

Band was cool, but it's always cool. Computer tech wasn't too hard, either. But Spanish. Woah. I had this bigass test, and I like totally blanked on it- I don't think that I FAILED, but I know that I bs-ed some of it. *sigh* But then I had english. Holy crap. The Scarlet Letter test was awful! The true/false part of it was OPINIONS, too! I was like "FAIL! DIE!" And I also got an 8/18 on that damn vocab quiz.

God, I hate school right now.

After school, Laura and I went to the mall together, and we went to J.C. Penny's, and I found the most beautiful dress I could ever imagine. It was blue, strapless, and floor-length, and it fit me like a dream. But... I couldn't get it. It was $2oo. I almost cried.

...I shouldn't feel guilty. But I do.

Laura and I were talking about Matt last night, too, and it's not pretty. According to her, he's still way not over me... and it's like... sad, because the new girl he's dating is a total bitch, and Laura can tell that she doesn't really like him... and I feel so guilty because he's changed so much, and I know that I had a big hand in it... and I think that he needs to get over me... because I love him, but I'm not IN love with him... and I guess it's possible that we could have a future together, but not now. I've moved on. I know it's really hard to get over someone, but... he's just not dealing with it the right way. I feel so bad for him, too. He deserves better, even though he's kind of turned into a royal jackass. *sigh*

Love sucks.
Lauren.

Whee.

Okay, so it's been better, I guess.



Last night, I was freaking out because I have to write an evil paper on The Scarlet Letter, and I don't really get the book, so I'm kind of fucked there, but hopefully I can scrape a decent grade... hopefully. *sigh* But I got my Romeo and Juliet essay into Mrs. Goertz, so at least I don't have that hanging over my freaking head. God.



Today was pretty good. I mean, band's always awesome, and computer tech's... computer tech. Haha. Spanish was pretty good, actually. There were a lot of "that's what she said" jokes, which I am getting better at. lol. English was cool; but lunch was good, too. It was fourth hour when things started getting interesting. I have gym fourth with Trevor, Philip, Hannah, Marcie, and tons of other people, and we were playing badminton. I was rockin' out with my badminton racket guitar and headbanging and I was a frickin' hack at it. It was sexy. But yeah, I was really excited and then I was ranting at everyone about everything. Poor Bryant. The kid's heard me ranting and yelling more than like most of my friends have. He's awesome about it, though; he just stands there and listens to me. What a cool kid.

Ooh, yeah, I have a band concert tonight. Laura's got UMTYMP, so I'm gonna help her by getting her saxophone out and shit. 'Cause I'm that cool of a person. But I'm pumped 'cause I get to hang with people and I'll talk to Bryant. Everyone's like "OMG ASK HIM OUT" but I can't get the guts to. *sigh*

Welcome to my life.

Lauren. ♥

P.S. Why am I so afraid to lose you... when you're not even mine?