Wow, I'm rather neglectful of this... whoopsie. :3

So... news.

oob #1: Bryant. Well, we split up... it was very nice... until I found out that he totally lied to me and screwed me over... and I don't think I want the world to know, so more on that later... but I still hurt and I still feel really stupid and it sucks. We split up at band camp... so yeah.

oob #2: Homecoming. Not sure if I'ma go... at least, not 100%. If I'm asked, then of course I'll go. I have a dress that I'd wear, but still. I'd like to have a date... and I'd like to be asked, but whatever. What happens happens. :)

oob #3: School. It starts in about... 5 days, and I'm not sure if I'm excited or not. Part of me is nervous for the first day and all that, but I'm also looking forward to the fresh start and not being the youngest in the fricking school. :3 I'm looking forward to Block, even though I don't know much about it. At least I'll be with friends. :) And band, too, I'm excited for that.

oob #4: Eagle Band. OMG. I can't believe that it's almost our first competition! Last week was Hell Week, and from Monday-Wednesday we had practice from 9 in the morning to 5 in the evening. It wasn't... horrific, but it was very tiring. And then we went to the State Fair, which wasn't actually bad. It was quite fun. :) We got to mess around a bit before playing, and it was fun.

oob #5: Cell phone!! I got one! I'm so excited! My parents told me that I'd changed a lot and grown up and worked really hard and I deserved it. That meant a lot to me, and I'm so glad I finally got one... with unlimited text... 952.649.9744

oob #6: Music! I'm newly addicted to Owl City... their new CD, Ocean Eyes, is the best. It's inspired me to write so many new pieces, it's insane. I love it. :) And Jack's Mannequin's The Glass Passenger is brilliant as well. :3

So... yeah, that's all I can think of for now... a lot has been going on, and hopefully I can get back into the habit of writing this, it's quite good therapy. XD

Love,
Lauren. ♥

P.S. Tough times don't last... tough people do.

P.P.S. This has been a good summer. I've learned so much, and a lot has changed. :)

P.P.P.S. I'm also addicted to Phantom Of The Opera. Watch it, read it, love it!! It's amazing!!

New Years

Wow, I can't believe that it's new years already. I woke up this morning and I swear to God I thought that it was tomorrow. Guess I was wrong.

Okay, so I haven't exactly written in a long time, so I guess I'd just update you with the latest shit.

First of all: Christmas. Christmas wasn't too horrible. I mean, yes, we ended up going down to Iowa, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. No, wait, yes, it was. First, I was in a bad mood because I was going in the first place, and then I kind of got into this fight with my mom on Christmas morning (it got physical. I hadn't eaten anything, so when we'd stopped, I felt like I was going to throw up and I laid down on the bathroom tile for like fifteen minutes), and it kind of colored the whole day for me. But other than that, it wasn't too God-awful. *sigh*

I also had a sleepover with Laura. It was pretty awesome, as per usual. We stayed up and watched Greek and 27 Dresses, and we both enjoyed staying up till all hours just talking. I find it awesome that we never get sick of each other, too. I owe that girl so much. She lets me use her cell to text Bryant, and it's actually helped a lot. When I get a cell phone, I'll make it up to her. Oh, speaking of Bryant, Laura told him that if he only liked me as a friend, that he should stop leading me on, and he's like "because one of the reasons I like her as a friend only is cuz i don't know her very wel...I love her personality...it's just I don't know her hobbies or her favorites or anything" and I felt so fluffy when I read that. It's true. We never get to talk because I'm always surrounded by my friends and stuff. Not that I don't love them, but... yeah. A cell would make my life so much easier.

Oh, and the cutting thing. Yeah... I did that yesterday and the day before that. I mean, for one thing, I don't get The Scarlet Letter, and that's putting a lot of stress on me, and Mrs. Goertz has been so understanding and awesome to me, so I feel so guilty for not understanding it... I feel like such an idiot. Because it's not that hard of a book... but for some reason, I just... don't get it. And I should. And it frustrates me because I know that I'm smarter than that! But I still don't fucking get it. And it's driving me crazy.

I guess I kind of want break to be over already... because it's not like I'm enjoying myself, really... but I don't want school to start, either. Especially gym class. Hate it.

OH. YEAH. I ALMOST FORGOT. MATT DUMPED ANDREA ON CHRISTMAS. I AM SO ANGRY AT HIM. I MEAN, CHRISTMAS?! THAT WAS SO MEAN. >:O UGH.

I think I've been doing better... but I dunno... it's really embarassing, but I can't even break down in my own house because I have this creepy feeling that my friends and people are going to see it and know about it and I won't be able to handle it... it's really... creepy... and I hate it... because it's a terrible feeling... and I want it to go the fuck away. Because I'm tired of doing that. I'm tired of being afraid... and I don't even know why I am afraid, or what I'm afraid of! It's driving me nuts!

I can't wait for the new year... though I don't know if I'm going to make any resolutions 'cause I usually forget about them and stuff... haha. I'm going skiing with Bridget tomorrow, and I'm pretty excited for that. I don't get to see her as much as I used to, so it's weird. But I love her. <3

I miss Laura.

Love,
Lauren.