The Weight of the World

I don't know.

I just don't know.

I mean, I feel so... alienated... so... loved, yet hated; so wanted, yet so unwanted... it's a fucking bad feeling, and I really wish that I could sever ties with everyone who "cares" so that it wouldn't be so damn hard to say goodbye... but I don't know if I'll be able to do that...

So... today wasn't great.

Neither was yesterday.

Or last weekend, for that matter. My parens and I fought, and I lost it... I ended up crying in my dark room for what seemed like days... it was bad. I actually ended up cutting again... shit. My parents don't know... but I'm in no hurry to tell them. After all, once there was blood on the carpet in front of the sink in the bathroom once, and it was not mine, and my mom's like, "Well, if you're gonna do that to yourself, at least keep it off the carpet." And so I really don't want to say anything to them... not that it would really matter if I did...

I have more to say... but I must do some homework so I don't get killed by my parents- or teachers. I will say it later, then.

Love,
Lauryn. ♥