Reflection?

It's the perfect time of year
Somewhere far away from here
I feel fine enough, I guess
Considering everything's a mess...

I like this song... it's a new addiction for me. It's Pinch Me by the Barenaked Ladies.

I could hide out under there
I just made you say "underwear"

Haha. Best line ever.

Anyway. So Bryant and I are doing really well, and I don't think I've ever been happier with any guy that I've ever dated. :] I know, I know, I've probably said that about every guy... but I mean it wholeheartedly this time... like, it's just... different. But in a really nice way. Like, he makes me really want to be a better person... and it's going to sound weird, but I consider him one of my angels. And I'm trying as hard as I can to not get totally wrapped up in him and lose my friends, because they're important, too. And school, as well. I need to keep my mind in class, and sometimes it can prove to be a... bit challenging. Especially in math class. God. But yeah... life is improving. And it's taking work, but it is getting better.

And God is really helping me, too. I know that I haven't exactly been a "role model" as a Christian, but I'm trying to get stronger in my faith, too. I want to get closer to God, and I also want to show Bryant what it's like to have a strong faith. I know that he's cool with me being for God and everything, but I want him to get to know Jesus. But I'm not going to make him. I'm just going to be there for anything and everything. I don't want to make him uncomfortable with anything, and I'm certainly not going to force what I believe in on him.

Wow, that's a rather heavy load... but I'll stop there. :]

Love,
Lauren. ♥

P.S. "She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness."
-Proverbs 31: 25-26

Given Up

What if you knew someone who had truly given up on life?

What would you do?

Would you try to help them?

What if they didn't want help?

What about then?

Would you talk to them?

What if they were silent?

~*~

I guess I could go on about that for a while, but I think you get the picture. I mean, it's hard to keep up with everything... school, friends, extra-cirricular activities... it's all a big part of our lives, and we're not willing to give any of it up. I don't see why we would... we have it amazingly good over here in the U.S.A... but some people don't see that. They think that they have it worse than anybody else, and their life is so horrible that they must commit suicide or whatever in order to get out of it.

I, personally, think this is crap.

I know that my life sucks, but it's not as bad as it could possibly be, and I guess I can draw some comfort from that fact. I know that I know a lot of stuff that most kids my age aren't even exposed to, and I also know things that I think are useless... and I can't really do a thing about it. This is what makes me the angriest. When there's a "minor" with an opinion and all the "adults" dismiss it just because it is from someone "less experienced" than them. It disgusts me. Personally, I think that is very UN-adult-like behavior. Just because you have more "worldly experiences" than we do does not mean that we are blind to the world and everyone (& everything) that is in it! In fact, sometimes I find that my peers bring the situation an entirely new point of view, and it clears the mess (whatever it may be) up!
Sometimes a person feels so stuck they resort to silencing themselves. This is horrible... every voice that is silenced is another voice that could solve a problem... or cure a disease... every single person on this planet has extraoardinary potential, and I think it's very sad when they are not given the opportunity to work with their talents.


I guess you can say I'm a hypocrite...

...but this is why I'm writing to you.

I give up sometimes, and I know life is hard. Trust me, I really do. Don't ever think that I'm saying that this is easy, and please don't make the mistake of thinking that I'm trying to put myself on a pedestal for you all to look at my perfection. Trust me on this, I know that I am far from perfect. I've come to terms with that (mostly). I cry, I hurt, I'm afraid, I'm insecure, I know all of these feelings... and sometimes I wish that I could just die and get it over with so I can't feel the pain anymore.

But that's not the way out.

I don't know what you believe will happen after you die, and I'm not going to touch that subject... I just wanted to bring some thoughts to mind... food for thought. Good luck... and remember...

YOU ARE LOVED. VERY DEARLY. BY SOMEONE OUT THERE, OR SOMEONE CLOSE TO YOU. I KNOW IT. PLEASE, NEVER GIVE UP. IT'S NOT WORTH IT. IT'LL GET BETTER THAN YOU KNOW. TRUST ME, I'VE SEEN IT HAPPEN COUNTLESS TIMES... AND THAT'S TOTALLY WORTH IT.

Yours,
Lauryn. ♥